“Hello,” she says.
“Hello,” he says.
And that’s all they say because the two assholes can’t figure their shit out.
“Good-bye,” she sighs.
“Good-bye,” he sighs.
Because they haven’t spoken for eight goddamn hours and they have no fucking clue what they are trying to accomplish together.
Two weeks later, it’s practically the same opener; “Hey,” she manages with downward cast eyes.
In a very similar fashion he smiles somewhat in her direction; “Hey,” continuing with the barely achieved verbal communication.
Although, how is that even communication because they literally say nothing to each other of substance.
Later that night, holy shit, he manages to say something!
“You got plans this weekend,” this man asks without any prompting.
And this woman is so caught off guard she fucking laughs in response.
“Of course not,” she says, because she has literally no flirting game whatsoever.
Fucking, “oh,” he says!
Yes, because these two are making so much progress.
At the end of the night the usual farewell ensues,
He goes to the parking garage and she walks up the street to the outdoor parking lot.
Because she prefers the brisk walk each night, which is really fucking stupid – by the way.
The thing that makes this particular night different, though, is the fact that there are a bunch of guys harassing ladies on the street.
The guy notices this and doubles back before he hits the second floor; “Let me walk with you.”
She accepts lazily because – well – these two are just too awkward and their social interactions are excruciatingly painful.
Something like a month passes before she is able to talk to him again.
Another, “Hello,” in a somehow passively surprised voice because she’s literally forgotten that he exists.
In response, “Hello,” because this story couldn’t be any more boring than it already is.
But today, “Thanks,” she throws out – turning just enough for him to actually look her in the eye.
They don’t need to talk to know what for; they don’t need to recall the fact that there had been a rape on the street only hours after they left a few weeks ago on their brisk walk.
So he just shrugs his shoulders with a barely attentive grin; “You’re welcome.”
And that’s all they say until it is time to leave.
And, much to my surprise, he walks her to her car again.
This apparently becomes a bit of a routine.
Never really talking or even acknowledging each other…
Silently burning through the work activities for the day and then walking together…
To her car first, and then she drives him to his, and off they go.
Abso-fucking-lutely nothing else.
How is nobody getting pissed off about this odd companionship?
Am I the only one invested in the romance of others than myself?
Because it pisses me off and I really quite hate watching it happen.
But I watch it continue on for months.
Actual literal months, you know; like nine months.
As it turns out, they must have had something going on because those bastards got engaged out of the fucking blue.
He proposed one day after walking her to her car – in the middle of the night with this expensive ass ring that could have encouraged thieves to risk being caught.
He proposes and she accepts and these two know nothing about each other to my knowledge.
It’s fucking awesome,
But I am curious how these two managed that shit because – wow.
That is a tale for the Times…
Discretion is powerful – deceit and manipulation are truly amazing.
I want these two bozos to mentor me so that maybe I won’t be so fucking obvious about the shit that gets me – good or bad.
That would be nice.
Yeah, that would be pretty fucking nice.