Look, Watch, Gaze

I catch you looking at me.

Or maybe you let me catch you.

Or maybe there’s no catching at all.

Maybe you’re doing it on purpose so I’ll see,

Or maybe I’m seeing only what pleases me.

Either way, you’re looking right at me and I can’t make something up to suggest that you’re not looking at me at purpose.

Initially, it seems blank.

A canvas with no paint; a paper with no ink;

And it’s kind of odd because you don’t even blink;

You’re just looking.

Or I guess it’s called ‘staring,’ but who am I to suggest that you’re intrigued in any way?

After a few minutes, a few glances away, and a few more days – I am pretty sure I’ve caught you watching now.

This time I know you’re watching because I’m moving in and out of view.

No matter where I go it seems as though I can see you;

And this suggests that you’ve moved in order to see me.

Perhaps this is because you are confused; at least you look confused.

Is there a question you need answered?

I guess I wouldn’t know because even after I ask if you need anything, you don’t answer the question in a way that I understand…

Since I can’t exactly gauge why it is you’re watching me I think I’ll just stay away.

That seems to be a good idea.

Until there’s something different in your eyes; something angrier, I’ve decided.

It bothers me on a personal level, even if it is totally stupid.

And I do mean stupid, because even in a lucid state of mind – I’m in no place to ask for a piece of your life.

So I keep to my plan and I keep at a distance.

I notice that you’re not watching anymore – you’re not looking at all.

There’s not even a single sign of resistance.

You’re just not sparing a single passing glance.

Before I get upset about not knowing – I remind myself that I gave up the chance to be concerned.

I don’t know how long passes before I catch you looking again.

It’s not a look, though; not anymore.

This is definitely a gaze.

But a gaze can be good or bad; so how do I know what to means?

I guess it doesn’t matter in what way you gaze upon me;

Or even that you’ve been looking and watching for weeks.

I am more worried that I’ve noticed.

I have to ask myself why I looked back.

Why did I look back?

Why did I watch you too?

And why am I gazing when I have better things I could do;

Like, perhaps, write about whether or not I understand you.

Or at least the way you see things, or the way I see you seeing.

Yeah, there are better stories I could tell.

And I probably couldn’t tell any of them very well.


Author’s Note: Inspiration came from a few different aspects of my life wright now. I am lucky enough to know and be friends with a lot of really intriguing people with beautiful stories to be shared. This is just one facet of the many aspects of life that I find truly beautiful – the allure of wanting to know how another person thinks, and wanting to be closer to someone that you can’t possibly begin to understand.

But in the end, you just want to know. So even if it’s a bad idea, it’s worth trying.

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2 thoughts on “Look, Watch, Gaze

  1. Hi Alixx I love this musing, wondering poem. I often wonder what people think, what thoughts go through their minds, is that stare at me or the person behind me? Wondering is a good thing. Keep writing. I really enjoyed this little poem / story. Cassie

    Like

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Cassie, they mean so very much to me. Poetry is something I have done since I was young as a way to explore things that I cannot socially express to those around me. When I cannot write the long stories and novels that I know I want to write – it is poetry that saves the day and gets me back in the right frame of mind.

      Have a lovely week, and hopefully you’ll check back for more of my musings!

      Yours,
      ab

      Like

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